Git Yer Toon On
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
CHELSEA HANDLER
In 2002, CHELSEA HANDLER was a buxom blonde, stand-up comedian from New Jersey. At 5'6 and 127 pounds, she packed a little meat on her East Coast bones. However, CHELSEA HANDLER packed a wallop with her wrecking ball of a mouth. CHELSEA HANDLER made no apologies for being born a half-Jew/half-Mormon in a dysfunctional family. CHELSEA HANDLER even went as far as to send her poo by Fed Ex to a cheating ex-boyfriend. CHELSEA HANDLER authored two best-selling books. Her first one was a memoir of her famous or infamous one-night stands. second one was all of the trouble she got from enjoying her favorite liquor, Grey Goose vodka.
Let me introduce you to the Femme Fatale of Late Night, Chelsea Handler.
She has risen to take over Ryan Seacrest's and Sal Maskala's E News's time slot. She has been granted another 150 episodes and an extension to 2010. She and her cast of minions, including Heather "long boobs" McDonald, Sarah Conlan, Lonie "Black Magic" Love, Gary Proops and her fake Nick Jonas and Selena Gomez entertained late-night crowds and drew rave reviews from David Letterman, Conan O'Brien, Colin Ferguson and Jay Leno alike.
And along with her 4'6 Mexican assistant, Chuy, expect the New Jersey devil to wage war on all things related to Paris Hilton, Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, Denise Richards, Tori Spelling, Ron Jeremy and any other half-wit, porn star and tool with the guts to cross her.
Expect this beautiful cobra to continue spitting her venom in the eyes of Hollywood.
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